GokuFievel’s Top Ten Page
Part of GokuFievel’s Joke Page!
FINALLY UPDATED APRIL 2006!!!
Check out the NEW ONES Below! Some of them written by you!
They will have *** above them
WARNING: Some of these Top Ten jokes may be offensive as they are now TV14-ish be it sexual or political
From the Home Office in
GokuFievel: With HUGE apologies to David Letterman and CBS. But these are MY OWN TOP TENS!!! And technically it would be unfair to label EVERY TOP TEN subject in the world as property of CBS. Just as so long as I’m not copying any of YOUR Top Ten’s Letterman, there’s no need for a lawsuit!
10: At the opening Toonami Sequence TOM not only show up ten minutes late, but he shows up drunk with a bottle of scotch in his hands
9: Instead of pushing the button on his chair to start the next show, TOM pushes the Self-Destruct button
8: Even though he lost weight and got a new slim and muscular body from the 'Intruder' Incident, TOM gets fat again
7: He keeps referring to SARA as the "Bitch in the box"
6: Instead of doing the Fan Art, TOM shows Hentai!
5: DragonBall Z is only on for 2 minutes and already it's a "To Be Continued..."
4: He gives all of the video games a 10 out of 10 saying, “Ah, they pay us to show their crappy games anyway so just give em’ what they pay for”
3: Toonami comes on the air and TOM is in no hurry to put away the Game Boy
2: TOM was last seen asking Moltar if he'd like to host Toonami again
And the #1 Sign That TOM Doesn't Give A Damn About Toonami Anymore.........
1: TOM throws twenty bucks at the camera and says, “You want Anime? Go buy it off of Ebay!”
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU’RE AT A BAD ANIME CONVENTION
(Written by some of the fans of Anime Oasis)
10: You’re the only one who’s there
9: You’re the only one is a cosplay costume…everyone else is dressed in black for the funeral
8: The only thing the Dealer in the Dealers room is selling are drugs
7: The voice actor shows up drunk with a six pack in his hands crying saying “Nobody loves me!”
6: It’s held in your mother’s basement
5: THE ANIME IS DUBBED!!! (Boooo!!!)
4: When InuYasha stabs someone with his sword and Vash the Stampede shoots someone with his gun……that ain’t no cosplay
3: The Anime Music Video contest is just some guy being animated singing karaoke to a crappy Weird Al song
And the #1 sign that you’re at a BAD Anime convention………
1: You walk into the con and the first person to greet you is a guy in a Spock costume who walks up to you and says, “Live Long and Prosper”
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU’RE AT A DAMN GOOD ANIME CONVNETION
10: You were at ANIME OASIS!!!
9: If you’re a girl during the B-Machine Dance you got to dance with: Naruto, Vash the Stampede, & InuYasha
8: If you’re a guy you got to dance with ALL 5 SAILOR SCOUTS!!!
7: You had a little accident watching Hentai night
6: You can officially say that you got to hang out with: Trunks from DragonBall Z, ED from FullMetal Alchemist, and Stan from Hamtaro!
5: There was a second Unrestricted Adult Cosplay…in your hotel room
4: You just kicked someone’s ass at DDR
3: You didn’t sleep for any of the 3 days and are now starting to hallucinate all of your favorite Anime characters PARTYING WITH YOU ALL NIGHT LONG!!!
2: You spend a year’s worth of allowance in the Dealers Room on: pins, posters, costumes, & pocky…stuff you won’t be using or seeing again for an entire year
And the #1 Sign you’ve had a damn good Anime Convention……
1: Jeremy fainted when he read how much money we made
TOP TEN SIGNS THAT GOKU IS GETTING TOO OLD TO SAVE THE WORLD
(Written by you the fans of Anime Oasis & DBZ)
10: Whenever he screams out a battle cry he asks for his dentures back
9: When Chi-Chi pushes him out on a wheelchair
8: Goku needs frequent naps in between battles
7: When Shenron the Eternal Dragon comes out carrying a walker
6: Even when Goku turns Super Saiyan his hair is still Gray and White
5: Goku accepts Vegeta’s challenge to a game of BINGO
4: The only thing he’ll fight for now is to get his Social Security check
3: When Goku fires out a Kamehameha attack fireball wave he grabs his hands in pain and says, “OUCH! THAT’S HOT!”
2: He has no shame showing up to battle walking around in his new Adult Diapers
And the #1 Sign that Goku is getting too old to save the world……
1: The 7 balls sag
TOP TEN THINGS NEVER SAID BEFORE IN AN ANIME
(If that’s even possible) (Again written by the fans)
10: School Girl talking “I’m a 16 year old girl you’re a 32 year old guy…I really don’t think it’s going to work out”
9: Another School Girl talking “This skirt is too short”
8: Yet another School Girl talking “Why didn’t you tell me my panties were showing?”
7: La Blue Girl talking “Silly Tentacles Monster…tentacles don’t go there”
6: Vegeta from DBZ talking “Hmm…maybe we can settle this peacefully”
5: Any Anime character talking to a villain “Could you repeat that 20 minute long plot revealing line again I didn’t quite catch it the first time”
4: Any mecha Anime character “I don’t feel like piloting a big Mecha robot and saving the world today I’d rather do my homework”
2: Two DBZ characters talking “Is it me or is this battle just taking FOREVER!”
And the #1 thing never said in an Anime before……
1: Goku talking “No thanks…I’m NOT hungry right now”
TOP TEN THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM WATCHING URUSEI YATSURA
(Drawing by GokuFievel)
10: If you’re probed by aliens in the X-Files that’s a BAD thing, but if you’re probed by aliens in Urusei Yatsura that’s a VERY GOOD THING!
9: If a hot looking flying alien chick in a tiger bikini wants to marry you and is constantly calling you darling…you say YES…NOT RUN AWAY!
8: Men should be thankful that their wives only beat them up with a stick not ZAP them to death if they’re caught cheating
7: Big fat baby boys named TEN can fly
6: You can stop a sharp sword coming at you with your bare hands and not get cut defying the laws of physics
5: There was no such thing as sexual harassment laws in
4: Bunny girl costumes RULE
3: Men have so many lovers…like 20 or 30 of them according to Ataru-chan
2: That even hot looking babe Priestesses with really big boobs can have a DEEP man-like voice
And the #1 thing I’ve learned after watching Urusei Yatsura……
1: Even perverts can save the world by hitting on Alien chicks!
Backup Story: Let’s just all admit it! Ranma and Akane are deeply in love with each other! THEY JUST REFUSE TO ADMIT IT because they’re stubborn and because they’re both like Vegeta…THEY’RE TOO PRIDEFUL!!! After ONE TOO MANY close calls and Ranma getting engaged to 4 women, I and many Ranma ½ fans think it high time that we rushed this Wrangeled Romance.
10: Write fake poetry then mail it in………Oh wait! That’s already been done before!
9: Make Shampoo bug Ranma SO much, that he’ll be begging for Akane to be by his side!
8: Switch Ukyo’s cooking with Akane’s; and switch Akane’s cooking with Ukyo’s!!!
7: Make Ranma watch Late Night Cinemax………he’ll get so horny he’ll be begging for Akane to marry him
6: Introduce Akane to Kuno and say, “Hey it could be worse you could still be engaged to HIM!”
5: Make them work out their differences on the Jerry Springer Show
4: Yell at, and tell Ranma that he’s a “CHICKEN!!!”
3: Tell Ranma what happens in
2: One word………“Handcuffs”
And the #1 Way to make Ranma and Akane fall in love with each other……………………
1: Do it the brutal way………Get em’ naked, SHOVE them in the bathtub, run like hell, lock, seal, and then barricade the door!!!
10: “Well that’s the end of their career”
9: “I could pull a better movie out of my Ass”
8: “Oh *&^%! What have I done!?”
7: “I now have more respect for Jar-Jar-Biggs”
6: “This Ancient Mew Card doesn’t do a Damn THING!!!”
5: “There goes half my paycheck”
4: “Dude, where’s my brain?”
3: “If Mel Brooks didn’t direct it, then DON’T try to pull some of the ‘We’re very well aware that this is a movie’ jokes”
2: “They could have gone the extra mile with that Mardi Gras scene…if you know what I mean”
And the #1 Response after seeing the Pokemon Movie 2000…………………
1: “I only came here to listen to Weird Al’s new song ‘Polkamon’”
Backup Story: For the record………NO THERE IS NO AMERICAN TAIL 5 OUT YET!!! (I sure hope there is!) If Larry Latham is willing to do it count on it!!!
10: “An American Tail V: The Search for Oscars”
9: “An American Tail V: The ‘V’ Stands for Victory”
8: “AT5: That’s not the name of a Star Wars Fighter…so cool your heels you Star Wars nerds!”
7: “An American Tail V: Selling Russian secrets to the Americans…so TAKE THAT you FBI Russian Spy!”
6: “An American Tail V: Tiger Gets a Life”
5: “An American Tail V: Fievel’s in Da Hood! Hangen’ out with his hommies!”
4: “An American Tail V: Fievel the first mouse Super Saiyan”
3: “An American Tail V: The Cat Meow-sicre”
2: “An American Tail V: Cats The Broadway Play”
And the #1 Possible Title for An American Tail V……………………
1: “An American Tail V: ESCAPE FROM TERRORISM!!!”
(By now you should have gotten the point about Ranma!)
10: “I feel your pain…I REALLY DO! Because I KNOW what it’s like to be a girl!”
9: “Akane I’m not making this up…but you REALLY are cute and sexy when your angry”…POW!!!
8: “Shampoo…is your hair real?”
7: “Ukyo, take it from someone who knows…you look WAY better as a girl! So stop dressing up like a man! You look like an American when you do that!!!”
6: “Kodachi there’s something I’ve wanted to say to you for years………YOUR BUTT-UGLY!!! AND YOUR LAUGH SUCKS!!!”
5: “Ryoga, your life is SO SAD it just makes me want to cry”
4: “Pop, what can you tell me about girls?”
3: “Happosai! You’re the REAL reason why Social Security and Medicare is having such a hard time these days!”
2: “Akane if we get married, how do you think my curse is going to affect our kids’ lives?”
And the #1 Thing Ranma would say if he had to tell the truth……………………
1: “Let’s all admit it…I GOT THE BEST CURSE!!!”
10: For Ranma ½: “I’ll let you in on a little secret…I’m really a man”
9: Akane: “Punching your lights out is my way of showing affection”
8: Shampoo: “Shampoo only using you to get near Ranma”
7: Ukyo: “How did you know I was a girl? Was the hair? It's the hair isn't it? DANG IT!!! It’s always the hair!”
6: Kodachi: “Whoooooohahahaha!!!”
5: Ryoga: “Tell me if my nose starts bleeding”
4: Nabiki: “Your hour is up…you’ll have to pay me 1,000 Yen if you want to keep me for the rest of this date”
3: Moose: “Do these glasses make me look like a nerd?”
2: Kasumi: “Dr. Tofu I’m not asking for much…just for 5 WHOLE seconds just STAY STILL!!!”
And the #1 Ranma Date Pickup Line…………………………………
1: Ranma: “Want to see me turn into a girl?”
10: Model for what they think is a NewsMagazine…when really it’s an Adult Magazine!
9: Sailor Mercury is the third back up crew in the Hospital……under cleaning
8: Sailor Mars
7: Sailor V tries to beat up Lara Croft
6: Tuxedo Mask…IS the Masked Magician
5: Sailor Jupiter got kicked out of the Olympics for testing positive for an illegal Sailor Substance
4: NASA repeatedly tries to put probes on Sailor Mars
(Who wouldn’t want to put Probes on her?)
3: Sailor Moon’s in on the Conspiracy that man never went to the Moon (just the girls have been there)
2: Sailor Uranus
and Sailor Neptune go to
And the #1 Day job of the Sailor Scouts……………………………………
1: They’re the backup cheerleaders for their high school!
10: The name of that cute little redhead orphan girl that sings “Tomorrow, Tomorrow!”
9: Rejected Disney cartoons
8: "That gizmo, that does that one thing, in that one country we don't like very much or something"
7: The title of an "R" rated Chinese movie
6: That DragonBall Z is a new miracle drug made from the testicles
of Comodo Dragons in
5: “Anime? Ani-May? Aunt May? The name of Spiderman’s Aunt?”
4: “I dunno, but they’ve got really big eyes, is there something wrong with them?”
3: "Mmm…I'm hungry… I like: trucks, women, sex, and pizza. Aren't monkeys funny? Especially when they dress up and have cigars in their mouths? …Duh?…What was your question again?"
2: Dumb Guy #2 Too Drunk To Answer
And the #1 Thing Of What Dumb American Guys Think Anime Is……
1: Cartoon Porn for kids!
10: Gohan at the
9: The Nameks: "There goes the neighborhood"
8: Vegeta To The Nameks: "You mean all I had to do was ASK NICELY for the Dragonballs and you would have given them to me!?!?!?"
7: Frieza To Ginyu: "For the love of the UNIVERSE!!! PUT SOME PANTS ON GINYU THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!"
6: Krillin To The Ginyu Force: "Weren't you guys on Wrestle Mania?"
5: Goku To Frieza: "You killed my best friend Krillin!!!……………COOL!!! Do it again! Do it again!"
4: Goku To Frieza as the planet Namek is exploding: "We can't keep meeting like this you know"
3: The Androids: "We just keep: Going, and going, and going, and going…"
2: Cell: “
And the #1 Thing Over Heard during the DragonBallZ Battles………
1: "If that Narrator interrupts us ONE MORE TIME…I swear…I am going to kick his Ass!!!"
10: “Who’s the Disco freak?”
9: “You know Cell isn’t really all that bad a guy…he just killed everybody from the American Media…however Cell preferred that stupid guy from ZTV INSTEAD!?”
8: “Oh, how nice of the Sailor Scouts to come on over and cheer us on……WHAT!? You mean you girls want to fight!?”
7: “Before we start the Cell Games everybody has to take a Drug Test”
6: “The Invocation (Opening Prayer) will be offered by Piccolo, and the National Anthem will be sung by Krillin…so for PETE’S SAKES PEOPLE!!! COVER YOUR EARS!!!”
5: “Let’s just fight like Mike Tyson does; and just EAT each other to DEATH!!!”
4: “We hope you don’t mind but the Cell games have been bought by a major corporation you don’t mind if we add some product placement do you?”
3: “The Cell Games on NBC!……is brought to you by: McDonalds, AT&T, Aflac, Bank of America, Xerox, and the good and wonderful people at VISA”
2: “I’m here threatening to blow up the world on International TV……and you’re telling me that we’ve been beaten by AMERICAN IDOL IN THE RATINGS!?!?!?”
And the #1 Thing Over Heard During The Cell Games………………………
1: “You mean what’s his name won the election?…Okay Cell! You can blow up the world now…we don’t care anymore!”
10: “Ok everybody I want Scooby-Doo shown here round the clock! All other Cartoons must go!”
9: “Ah! My new Coffee Boy…Gohan is it? You’re going to go far in this business my boy! The business of getting my coffee…so go get some chop, chop!”
8: “Ooo! I like my new intern, I want to see you in my office Sailor Moon”
7: “No Yogi, you cannot have my sandwich! Touch it and you’re Fired!”
6: “If Toonami isn’t about Scooby-Doo or Cartoon Cartoons, I don’t want to hear about it”
5: “Say that’s funny Tenchi, can I give that one to Johnny Bravo?”
4: “Ok Grandpa I promise, I’ll never cancel Betty Boop”
3: “Listen Goku, fire one of those fireballs at the Nielsen Ratings people……THEN we’ll talk about Toonami”
2: “That Hercule guy, he’s gonna go far in this business! I want to see Hercule T-Shirts, Hercule action figures, Hercule lunch boxes……what? Super Saiyan Goku? What? Oh THAT guy…he can be Hercule’s dumb sidekick!”
And the #1 Thing You’re Most Likely To Hear At A Meeting With Jamie Kellner……
1: “Anime? What the hell is that!?”
10: Kakarot you’re my best friend
9: Look Ma, look what I can do!
8: Pwecious wittle baby Trunks, come to daddy
7: Cowabunga Dudes!
6: I’m DEAD SEXY!!!
5: I love you Bulma!
4: Hercule you’re a really cool guy
3: Quiet! I’m trying to watch football!
2: Hey, the pizza’s here!
And the #1 Thing That Sounds Cool When said by Vegeta………………
1: Oh no, Goku you take this one I’ve been hogging all of the fighting today
10: Piccolo versus the Jolly Green Giant
9: Goku and Chi-Chi fight it out on the Jerry Springer Show
8: Android 18 versus Al Gore
7: Master Roshi versus Anna Nicole Smith
6: Vegeta versus Mike Tyson
5: Chow Sue takes on all 151 Pokemon
4: Gohan tries to out Survive contestants on Survivor!
3: Krillin tracks down fugitives from
2: King Kai versus Seinfeild
And the #1 DragonBallZ
1: Gore versus Bush…SUPER SAIYAN STYLE!!!
GokuFievel: Thank You and have a mysterious tomorrow!!! Keep on laughing!!!
Apologies: To anyone offended by the jokes above be they political or sexual. Anyway if it’s that bad then get out!
Copyright Stuff: THESE JOKES WERE WRITTEN SOULY BY ME GOKUFIEVEL!!! So if you plan on stealing any of these jokes………DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!! If you wish to share some of these jokes with others, feel free to! However, if you wish to steal these jokes for your own DBZ or Sailor Moon site………I DON’T THINK SO!!! UNLESS………unless you CONTACT ME FIRST and have my permission. So please contact me if you wish to do so or if you want to comment on the jokes. Thank You –GokuFievel
Give me your OWN Top Tens that are related to the topics I’ve overviewed. For more rules see the bottom of the Joke Page. If they’re good and make me laugh, I’ll put them up. They cannot be COPIED Top Tens for legal reasons. Thank You and Good Luck!